Selfless Giving 

But how could this be? How is it that we end up suffering when we try to fulfill ourselves? It doesn’t seem fair or logical, does it?

     The problem is that whenever we try to fulfill ourselves, to do things for ourselves, we keep reinforcing the idea that we are a separate entity, that there is a separation from us and consciousness, from us and eternal awareness. As long as we do that, we can’t be happy. If a bird is used to freely flying around and you put it in a cage, it won’t be a very happy bird any more. It wants to fly, that’s its nature. Our nature is infinite awareness, and as suddenly we find ourselves trapped in a body, a mind, being subject to birth and death, and we don’t know why, but we are unhappy. We don’t know what’s wrong, but we know we want our freedom back. The trinkets of worldly life will amuse us for a little while, but we will only be really happy when we become what we really are, or we recognize that nothing’s changed and we are still eternal awareness, and that the cage and the walls around us are just our imagination, they’re just an illusion.

How to do it?

     In order to practice the act of self-giving, we must learn to meditate. Without meditation there’s no self-giving, there’s no sense of how to give, what to give or that we should even give.

     There’s a treasure that we want. It’s deep down under a lake, but the lake has waves and waves and we have no idea where the treasure is located. First it is necessary to stop the motion of the waves. Once the waves stop and the water becomes smooth and clear, then we can look down into its depths, we can see down into the water and locate the treasure. Now, once we’ve located the treasure it behooves us to go down into the water and get it out, to bring it up to the surface, and then to share it with our friends, keeping enough just to keep ourselves in this world and to have whatever we need but then giving the rest away.

     It’s necessary to find the treasure first. When you meditate you stop thought, you smooth the mind. Otherwise it’s impossible to know where the treasures of eternity are. As long as the mind is active and filled with thoughts, ideas, desires, jealousies, and all types of emotion, we really can’t get a sense of where to go or what to do. We just follow what we see in the world, but that doesn’t do it. It isn’t enough. We  must be in touch with the deeper self.

     Now, once we’ve done that, then we begin to practice self-giving. Self-giving means that we have to understand the nature of giving. As we meditate this becomes more clear to us. When most people give, they give conditionally. They give expecting a return on their investment. Often, it’s just the other person being thankful, appreciating what we did for them. But at the same time we expect that we will then get along with that person better or they’ll do something for us in the future. In other words, we’re still expecting a return on our investment.

“Selfless giving is love in action. Initially you will feel that you should help in a certain way, with a certain result.  Do your best, but don’t be concerned with results; do it for the infinite.”

     Often we give in order to have more control or dominate the other person. In real self-giving we’re inspired. We don‘t think about time, place, condition, or practicality. We sense that we need to make a gesture, an offering. We give someone something; whether they acknowledge us or not is not important. We gain enough joy just from giving. As you meditate each day the selfishness will leave you. You will find that you will be able to give purely and freely. However, as you’re practicing, one thing to keep in mind is that it’s better to give somewhat selfishly than not to give at all. Giving or loving selfishly, is one of the steps that we climb on the ladder on the way to selfless giving and selfless love.

     When you’re going through a difficult time yourself, when life is not pleasing you – you’re depressed, you’re discouraged – forget about yourself for a while. Go do something for someone else. This is the fastest way to pull yourself out of a negative state of consciousness. You could sit around, feel sorry for yourself, and be miserable, or you can simply pick yourself up and go out and do things for others. Don’t expect always to be inspired. Sometimes you have to inspire yourself. You could go outside today and have a glum face and be unhappy and miserable and feel sorry for yourself, or you could put a smile on your face and go out into the world, even though you don’t feel like it. That’s selfless giving. Click here to see Rama’s detailed explanation.

     Selfless giving is not convenient. Selfless giving, real selfless giving, involves commitment – the commitment to make others happy whether we feel like it or not, without complaining and without indulging. This is the higher art of selfless giving.